Thursday, April 25, 2013

25 Stupid Things Singaporeans Do

1) Using their bags to tap their ez-link instead of taking out their wallets.

It's an ez-link and reader, not a bag reader. Lazy as fuck for what?

2) Using tissue paper to reserve a seat at food courts.

Unfortunately for you, I don't give a shit. Thanks for the tissues though.

3) Queueing.

There's only 24 hours in a day. And aren't your feet tired?

4) Asking for discounts in a high end store when it is clearly not a sale period.

If you can't fucking afford, don't walk the fuck in.

5) If above fails, asks for free gifts.

Why? Cause you're a cheap ass that's why.

6) Taking pictures of their food.

We all do, fair enough. But I draw the line at spending more than fifteen minutes on it. Anything more, you're better off eating your camera.

7) Complaining.

Bitch and moan for a while, then suck it up and move on. God, once a whiner, always a whiner.

8) Sending your kids to five different enrichment classes.

Face these 2 facts: 1) Your child is average. 2) Your child is average.

9) Writing to the government.

And...?

10) Pretending to sleep on the train.

Let me give you a pillow while you're at it? A blanket? Yes? No?

11) Blaming teachers if your child fails in his/her exams.

Cause you know, every teacher in this country is just dying to see your kid fail.

12) Taking too long at the ATM.

It's an Automated Transaction Machine. Not Ah Takeyourownbloodysweetimenevermind Machine.

13) Being painfully self-righteous.

Cannot repeal 377A. Must protect our Asian values and traditions. Students asking lecturers to sleep with them in exchange for good grades is a very Asian concept for?

14) Take a budget airline and complain about service.

You want to be treated like a king, spend like one you cheapskate motherfucker.

15) Taking 300 photos of your baby. While your baby is sleeping.

How about you stop at the 5th click? Cause your baby is fast asleep and not giving any kind of interesting variations in his/her photos. That, and your baby is ugly.

16) Girls who hold their boyfriend's hands and not letting go.

He needs to pee bitch, and he's not going to run away.

17) Parents who us their baby pictures going, "Cute right my baby?"

YOU ARE LUCKY IT IS NOT A TWIN.

18) Not putting back the things in a store at the same place after you have finished browsing.

If you're a pig, keep your filthy behaviour within the confines of your room. Not show it in public.

19) Going to a community centre to learn dancing from dodgy dance instructors.

Why?

20) Giving foreigners face.

Again...why?

21) Wearing a jacket to Orchard ROad. At 2 in the afternoon.

There is a limit, even to being pretentious. Fashion without common sense.

22) Converting the bomb shelter into a storeroom.

Because it makes perfect sense you know.

23) Go to Starbucks, buy one drink and then hog the table for six hours.

Best. Idea. Ever.

24) Wearing suede shoes during the monsoon season.

Then get angry at yourself when it rains. Now tell me, stupid or not?

25) Trying to have sex with your lecturer in exchange for grades.

Because you're too stupid too study.

15 comments:

  1. Thais are no better! Trust me! The uneducated truck drivers are the real morons!

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  2. Thais are no better! Trust me! The uneducated truck drivers are the real morons!

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  3. I think your list makes you ironically, a stupid Singaporean too. Your list doesn't make too much sense. Drawing the line at 15 mins taking pics of food? Come on, I think you meant 15 seconds. Take a chill pill.

    I think this post is being written by a 12 year old. *takes chill pill*

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    Replies
    1. Come on don't be Butthurt hahahh

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    2. Come on don't be Butthurt hahahh

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  4. No money in Singapore !!!

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  5. In a densely populated Singapore,most people have become self centered, individualistic, annoying bunch of race unparallel to any other country on the face of the earth.

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  6. Actually agreed with the general observation about people in Singapore. Not sure if it's applies to singaporean though. It could be malaysian residing in Singapore etc. I suppose when you live long enough on this little island, you will only learn quickly to take and not give. The quality of learning to give is something that is somewhat lacking in all asian culture nowadays and even more so in a materialistic modern society like the one in Singapore

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    Replies
    1. why? cos in singapore, if you are too nice, people will take it for granted

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  7. well...singapore's heartlanders are all of those. Pure inbreds, that's what they are period. i don't find it surprising that the rich doesn't take a liking to heartlanders. heartlanders?? More like tardlanders. These bunch of individuals are definitely satan's spawns.

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  8. Singaporeans are a pretty close minded, but its getting better... At least I speak for people at my age... nvm I'm just speaking for myself.

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  9. This entire post is exaggerating things. Seriously. Every step of the way. And if you don't understand or can't stand our culture, don't write an article to criticise it. These people are only a select few known as the kiasu ones. Which brings me back to my point of - using a tissue packet to chope seats is what we do. Since you're too dumb to understand that, I'm telling you now. It's just us. I think your enrichment class comment is actually perfectly valid because you're not just mediocre, your brain is deformed. No amount of tuition could make you smarter. I don't even have a particular passion for my country but at least give it some respect would ya?

    Oh wait I forgot, you don't have any self respect so how would you give others any?

    So anyway, love you darlin'. Don't go offending anyone else!

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree. And you forgot to mention that the author doesn't know the difference between 'to' and 'too', but that's okay. Because no one does, right? Well, no one except us Singaporeans with our sophisticated education system. Up yours.

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