Monday, September 24, 2012

2 Birds And A Shadobee

The topic about sex is a regular fixture in our conversations, be it in public or in private. Melanie prides herself for being absolutely adept in the knowledge of anything remotely sexual. And why shouldn't he? I mean, she. So it is to no one's surprise when the topic of pornography was discussed just now during our ritual Sunday brunch.

"I love gay porn", Star said, egg benedict in mouth. "I love it. I once chanced upon a gay porn video involving fisting and from then on I'm hooked. Those men are gorgeous."

I chocked on my cranberry juice. It felt as if one of those gay porn stars fisted me, right in the throat. I told Star that she is disgusting and she kicked my legs from under the table and mouthed, "Fucker." Melanie on the other hand was just staring at one of the boys sitting at a table opposite of ours. There was a long silence. And then Melanie said, "That guy in that blue shirt looks very familiar. I think I've seen him somewhere."

"Oh, such a hottie!" Star exclaimed.

"I think he was in this amateur gay video that I saw on Xtube", Melanie whispered, squinting her eyes for a clearer view.

"He is gay?! Oh my that's hotter! I totally dig man on man action. Show me the video!" Star said, getting all excited. I growled, "You are NOT watching gay porn in here during brunch! Everybody can see!"

"Nobody can Harry. And if they can, then they deserve to watch gay porn for being such a nosey motherfucker", Melanie said, fingers typing away.

The next ten minutes was me eating my chicken avocado sandwich, head down and across the table, Melanie and Star hunched over the phone with headphones on (on my insistence) and Star going, "Oh my. Shit. Yes. Okay that IS him! Oh. My. God. Wow. Wow. NICE! Shit that's a lot!"

"Do you want to see the video Harry?" Melanie teased. I told her that I'm still not down with my sandwich and that, no, I wasn't interested in watching the guy on the opposite table naked and jacking off. "I'll send you the link later!" Melanie guffawed. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be a prude or anything; I never was and never will be. I enjoy porn as much as any regular dude but I guess you have to draw the line when it comes to brunch and gay mobile porn. And these two, they have no line of barrier in reservedness whatsoever.

We were waiting for our bill to be transacted when Star asks, in a rather audible tone (very loudly), "Have you guys seen the 2 girls 1 cup video?" Half of the patrons in the restaurant looked at our table. I mean, fuck me right?

"I have. But I don't think Harry has. Have you Harry?" Melanie asked.

I shook my head.

"Let's all go back to my place and watch it together! It'll be fun!" Melanie chirped. But honestly though, I've never seen this 2 girls 1 cup video. From what people said, it is a video about two girls defecating into a cup and then eating each other's shadobee. I mean the thought of it is disgusting, yes, but I have seen my share of disgusting acts caught on tape, so crazily I said okay.

So here we are now, me, notebook on my lap, trying my level best to be cool and nonchalant about it. I mean, how bad can it be right? Okay it's playing now. Star is fast forwarding to the "nasty part", according to her and I'm...fuck. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Okay I need to gag it all out. Later.

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