Monday, September 24, 2012

Cold Dinner

Our lives are heavily dictated by social media and the fact of the matter is, it will only worsen as we progress on in our lives. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Path, Tumblr, YouTube, Skype and what have you. Every single aspect of our lives is glorified and technologically enriched by social media, one way or another. Relationships, events, food, birthdays and anniversaries, music, entertainment; there is something, for anything.

Many complain about the death of the human touch and the decline of EQ among the younger generation but one thing is for sure; social media is here to stay and damn is it addictive! I personally try to strike a balance but the appeal of social media is not, or shall I say, never, be lost on me. Star and Melanie however are obsessed with it. They have everything; Facebook, Twitter, Skype, MSN, Instagram etc. They each have their own favorite social media; Star Instagram and Melanie Twitter.

Every single one of us have our very own obsession. It's crazy, irrational and it consumes us. But when your obsession is social media, things get messy. Things like dinner. Earlier on, I had dinner with Star and Melanie and only today have i felt the imposing nature of social media. Here was what happened (and could potentially happen again if Star and Melanie's iPhones are not flushed won the toilet anytime soon):

Star: Guys, when the food arrive later, please don't eat it first? I want to take a picture and put it on Insta.
Harry: What is that?
S: Instagram.
H: But I'm hungry Star.
S: It won't take a minute!
H: But you will retake the picture twenty times. That's twenty minutes.
Melanie: Harry where are we?
S: Can't you just wait for awhile Harry?
H: Whose question do I answer first?
M: Mine. I'm already on Twitter.
H: What has the restaurant name got to do with Twitter?
M: Why are you answering my question with a question? I want to check in on Twitter.
H: And let everybody know where we are at this point of time?
M: Yes
H: Why?
M: Just because.
H: Aren't you afraid of being stalked and raped in an alley on the way back Mel?
M: At this point of time, I am begging to be raped. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS RESTAURANT?!
H: I don't know.
M: You're such a f...forget it! Found it.
(Food Arrives)
S: HANDS OFF THE TABLE! (banging table top)
H: I feel like I'm in a monastery, sharing a table with two cunts, I mean, nuns.
S: Harry can you shift your plate a bit more to the right where there's a bit more light?
H: The shadow of your tits is eclipsing the entire table. Should I carry my food on my head instead?
M: What shall I type on Twitter? "Dinner with Besties" or just "Dinner!!!" Wait, Harry, you don't have a Twitter account do you?
S: No he doesn't and he won't have his balls too if he doesn't stand up for a while for me to take a picture of his food. Harry, stand!
H: Star, my food is getting cold.
S: And so are my nipples. Do you see me complaining?
M: Ohmygod Star you're not wearing a bra?! Haha, that's hilarious, I'm so gonna tweet that.
S: And tell your followers I'm not wearing any underwear either!
H: That' I'm speechless.
S: Harry which is nicest? In Hefe, Valencia or Brannan?
H: I just want to eat my food.
M: Star you heard of this Instagram joke? "Oh you're a model? What's your agency? Instagram?"
S: Haha, too funny! I'm so gonna Facebook status that! get the drift.

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