Monday, October 22, 2012

Mrs Lee And A Sofia

Stevieboy had invited us over to his place last weekend so Star, Melanie and I put on our best brunch outfits and the three of us came over for a free meal (screw shyness). Apparently Steve parents (mum actually) wanted to see us and was very excited about having guests over; a rarity considering that his parents are almost never in Singapore all year round. Steve have been regaling to his parents about the insanity that is our company and his parents are very happy apparently that Stevieboy's closest friends is made up of a transexual, a slut and a full grown man who has a compulsive disorder.

"Wait, you have three million houses around the world. But you are now staying in the penthouse at that condominium at Orchard Road right?" Melanie reconfirmed with Steve over a group chat in Skype the night before.

"No Mel, I've rented that one out. I am staying with my parents now in Bukit Timah. One of the houses there," Steve typed.

"You own a colony of houses there, which one are we talking about here love?" Star joked.

"Call me when you guys are all at Mel's place tomorrow. I'll pick you guys up from there," Steve confirmed.

So here we are, sitting down in the living room, well I really don't know what it is or how to describe it; I am basically sitting in a room that is half the size of a football field. There is a giant chandelier and the sofa we are all siting on feels like, I don't know how to describe it again; it feels expensive. Oh screw Steve. Why must some people be so rich?

"Does this entire mansion have its own postal code?" Star whispered.

"What do you think?" I whispered back.

"Hello all!" a friendly voice echoed through the room. And there she was, Mrs Lee, standing at the top of the staircase right smack in the middle of the living room. She was wearing a knee length printed dress with cap sleeves and her hair was tied in a bun, diamond stud earrings competed her look.

"That dress is a Cavalli. And isn't she supposed to be in her fifties? She doesn't look a day above 45! I want her surgeon!" Star whispered.

"If she is a bitch, oh, the things I would say later on," Melanie muttered under her breath.

"Mum this is Star (Star? What a lovely sexy name!), Harry (Is this your boyfriend Steve?), and Melanie (Oh my god. You used to be so handsome! ). Guys, meet my mum," Steve introduced.

"You haven't answered my question Steve. Is Harry your boyfriend? Are you Harry?" his mother asked holding my right arm and slightly swaying it. Star and Melanie laughed, Steven was clearly embarrassed, his red cheeks giving it away.

"No mum, he is not and stop harassing him," Steve finally said.

"Oh what a shame. Don't worry Harry he is still single and he has never brought any guys home yet. At least not that I know of. There was this one time though, about three years ago when I accidentally opened his room door and I..."

"Mum! Stop!" Steven hushed. We have the same mother apparently.

"Are you guys hungry? Let's have something to eat. And no, I can't be one of those mother who cooks for my son's friends, I don't have the time. What are domestic helpers for right? Is Italian okay?" Mrs Lee joked. We nodded our heads in unison, like dumb a-holes.

Apparently lunch is not ready yet and will only be so in about another twenty minutes so Mrs Lee invited us to sit in her walk-in wardrobe because "It is the only place I feel safe, and it smells of mandarin and cloves and all of you can sprawl on my floor. Screw formalities."

The moment we entered her walk-in wardrobe (which is another room altogether, about the size of a one room HDB flat), Star accidentally said, "Oh my god fuck me."

Mrs Lee laughed, "It's okay, I say that whenever I walk in here too."

The wardrobe was, wel, it was like a mini shopping centre. There is an entire shelf filled with shoes, easily over a hundred, and three wardrobes filled to the brim with all the clothes you can think off. there is two small shelfs filled with all her accessories and a giant closet which she describes as "Bags In Heaven". And when she opened the closet door, what greeted us was rows and rows of all the designer bags you can think off, literally from every single brand. Melanie and Star just stood there, mouths open. Star said, "You have the pink Celine tote? Mrs Lee I have been wanting to buy it for months but couldn't get it!"

"You like it? Take it then," Mrs Lee smiled, taking the bag from the closet and handing it over to Star.

"What?" Star said, eyes widened.

"I have way too many bags, you can have it. Take a couple if you want to, I have a lot and I don't think I would stop buying, much to Steve's father discontent. But screw him, I buy these with my own money. Melanie, do you like anything you see? Tell me, take two or three bags you both! I am serious," Mrs Lee continued.

"Oh my god Mrs Lee, thanks! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! You're like a mother I never had!" Star shrieked. I rolled my eyes.

Melanie was pretty calm though but you know she was screaming inside. She confidently said, "If you insist Mrs Lee, I want the Bottega Roma and the Ferragamo Sofia."

"Good choice, take, take. I don't know where to keep it anyways. I have never worn the Sofia though. So it is as good as new. Take it. Harry you want anything? Are you into women bags too?" Mrs Lee laughed.

I look at Steve and back at her and just smiled and shook my head.

"You can ransack Steve's closet though. He has came out of it so there is enough space for his designer clothes to be fitted in. Haha!"

"Mum, not funny," Steve said.

A helper went inside the room (sorry, walk in closet) and told us that lunch is ready. But I don't think, the girls are that hungry anymore.

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