Monday, November 26, 2012

In Between My Teeth

Gone are the days when all it takes for a man to look good is if he takes a nice good shower. Men nowadays are being assaulted, sometimes against their will, with a cacophony of products, treatments and lifestyles that encompasses and caters to a man's needs from head to toe.

Oh the list is endless. Pedicures, manicures, micro dermabrasion, vitamin C injections, botox, hair transplants, facials, abs enhancing weight loss programs, hair tonics, you have your waxes and your clays and your mousses and your gels, hair sprays, eye creams, collagen shots, "natural" tannings, eyebrow reshaping, body scrubs, spas and massages, yoga, pilates, three million brands and types of facial products, masks and many, many more.

The man of today is spoilt, and let's face it, sometimes gravely pressured with the endless array of products and treatments to make them look good. Nowadays men needs to be as picky with their "beauty regime" as their opposites. The right hair products for the right kind of hair, the correct facial wash that complements your skin type, the right type of underwear; the level of vanity and the need to look good has increased tremendously over the last two decades amongst menfolk.

The latest trend has caught up and is being practiced amongst a growing number of men is manscaping. It is a form of maintenance of the furry kind for our fellow brothers who are gifted by God with more active hair follicles on their bodies. I personally have not gone for any of these manscaping thing whatsoever because I am as furry as a baseball bat, so I have no hair on my body that is unruly enough to be scraped, waxed, yanked out, shaved, trimmed or shortened.

Steve however is a big manscaping fan. And rightfully so. Born to a Peranakan mother and an Irish father, Steve has followed his father's body hair type: all over. The only part of his body that is not covered with hair is his back (thankfully) but everywhere else needs a bit of professional trimming. And I must say that he looks great, with just the right amount of hair he looks very masculine and yet, for a lack of a better word, uncluttered.

"They wax my ass too," Steve said two days ago during dinner after his monthly manscaping session.

"Wow, thanks. I needed to hear that while I am having my dinner," I said, swallowing my roasted chicken and mashed potatoes.

"I mean, I'm a gay man and I open my legs pretty often so I need my ass to look welcoming all the time," Steve added.

Melanie laughed hoarsely across the table, her original male voice making an entry and she kept banging the table.

"Do you shave down there Steve? Harry?" Star asked.

"That is a very personal question Star," I replied.

"Oh please! I tell you everything!' Star raised her voice.

"Nobody asked you to," I replied again.

"Do you shave your pubes or not?!" Star shouted. Everyone in the restaurant looked at the four of us.

"Wow, that came out from nowhere," Steve said softly, his face getting red.

"Whatever it is boys, I am here to tell you that it is of paramount importance that you boys actually trim down there. Don't you ever, ever let it weed out down there. Once I gave a blowjob to this dude who I think have NEVER shaved since he reached puberty and I am telling you, I kept stopping halfway because I kept having his pubic hair stuck in between my teeth!" Star shared.

"Wow, okay. Wow.." I muttered softly, helpless.

"But the truth of the matter is, no matter how tough and challenging self-hygiene for men is over the past few years, all of it is nothing compared to getting a Brazilian wax like we women do," Melanie gloated, proud of the fact that she is a woman now and is honoured with the opportunity to have her man mad vagina yanked out of it's hair, each and every strand.

"When I first had my brazilian wax, the initial yank, everything went white," Melanie said.

"Which is the state I wish I was in right now," Steven smiled, sipping his drink.

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