Thursday, December 20, 2012

The "F" Word

When it comes to women and the "F" word, there will never be the end of it. I know, we have revisited many mentions in this blog about girls and their undying fascination (and many a times, fear) with the word "Fat" but this is a different story and subject altogether. This is about skinny girls, girls who are in shape, who can find one numeral dress sizes in Topshop but go on and on and on with the vomit inducing sigh that is, "Oh! I'm so fat!"

This group of girls are neither bulimics nor do they suffer from an acute case of weight dysphoria. This group of girls, according to Star are called "Unappreciative Cunts". Lately I have been seeing a lot of these..."Unappreciative Cunts" and they really know how to make your skin crawl with disgust.

Just this afternoon, Star and I were at Karen Miller trying to find a nice dress for her cousin's wedding this Sunday and she nearly got into a fight with one of the Unappreciative Cunts who was also shopping in the same store. And yes, I am going to use Unappreciative Cunts for quite a while from now on because it just has got a nice ring to it.

So anyways as usual Star would pick out about four to five dresses and then we would together judge the dresses based on FF; fuckability factor. The dress that has the highest fuckability potential would be purchased. Star came out wearing this one shouldered red sheath dress when the girl in the fitting room beside hers also came out at the same time.

She was thin, skinny by most standards, not more than a size 2 and she was wearing this sparkly knee length black dress. She went out at the same time with Star and raised her coice really loudly at her friend who was standing about five feet away from me, "Oh God! I'm so fat! Look at me, like a pig!"

That went on for another two more times and by the fourth black outfit, the girl looked around and still said the same thing, "God, I'm fat in this!"

Star looked at her, gave a disgusted look, rolled her eyes, and walked towards me.

"Don't! Just don't say anything. And that is a six and a half on the fuckability scale," I whispered to her, touching the hem of the cream dress she was wearing.

"I swear if she screams one more time saying that she's fat, I WILL SAY SOMETHING!" Star whispered through gritted teeth.

As if on cue, that same girl screamed again, "I look damn horrible in this! I am going to change I am so fat!"

Star immediately turned around and looked at the girl and sharply said, "Sugar?"

I covered my face with both of my palms and all I could remember mumbling was, "Here we go..."

"Honey, you're not fat. Susan Boyle is fat. Elizabeth Taylor in the 1980s is fat. And you're neither of those. THAT, and black is a slimming colour sweetheart. So quit saying you're fat, cause you're not. And I would hate it if there is actually a real plus sized girl in this store right now listening to you ramble on about how fat you are, imagine how she would feel," Star said firmly.

And you would think that would be the end of it. But hell no, the girl actually rudely replied, "And who asked for your opinion?"

I know right? Even I went "Noooooo" inside.

"You piece of unappreciative cunt. It was not an opinion. It was a warning. Stop trying to attract attention by screaming away that you are fat hoping someone will come and say to you that you are not. Which in this case I did, and you want to be a total cunt about it?"

"What did you call me?" the girl flicked her hair angrily.

"A cunt," Star replied and went back into the changing room. The girl's face was red with anger.

Star went out of the changing room about three minutes later and said, "Let's just go to BCBG, my tits can't breathe at the sight of cheap attention seekers!"

Just now during dinner with Melanie and Steve, Star regaled the entire story much to their amusement.

Melanie said, "Damn, I guess I would never know how it feels like to be fat. I eat way too much and yet I don't gain any weight!"

"That's because deep inside you still have a metabolism rate of a grown man Mel shut up!" Star snapped.

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