Saturday, February 9, 2013

Are You A Shopaholic?

I don't usually make self-realisations or self-discoveris unless something big happens in my life. But when I do, it is usually life changing (and humiliating). And yesterday was one of the days that changed my life (and bought the word "humiliation to a whole new level). It all started with and online questionnaire that Star shared with me over dinner. The questionnaire was titled, "Are You A Shopaholic?"

"You have got to try this! You would be amazed. There's twenty five questions in total and there is four options per question, all carrying different scores, you ready?" Star excitedly asked while waiting for dinner to be served.

"Fine," I replied, disinterested.

"How frequently in a month do you purchase something? A) once a month, B) two to three times a month, C) more than five times a month or D) more than ten times a month," Star started.

"I don't know. I guess everytime when I go out?" I answered.

"Harry, that is like everyday," Star widened up her eyes.

"I don't like where this is going..." I trailed off, suddenly scared.

"Next question. What was your last purchase that you regretted buying and have you used it at least one sine the time the purchase was being made? A) never, B) once, C) more than twice, D) you don't regret the purchase anymore because there is a use to it," Star rattled on.

"You bought an eight man tent last week and you have not used it even once!" Steve answered for me.

I glared at him.

"And that new Zegna perfume three days ago! You never wore it!" Melanie added on.

I kept quiet because I was trying to remember when did I actually bought an eight man tent and the new Zegna perfume.

"Oh my god. You don't remember do you?" Steve barked.

"You ARE a shopaholic!" Melanie concluded.

"I am not!" I tried explaining, slightly irritated.

"Denial. The first attribute of an addict," Melanie squinted her eyes menacingly at me.

"Wow. A cokehead judging me," I smiled sweetly back at her.

"Finish up the questionnaire Harry," Steve said.

And I did. After tabulating the total scores, i scored an astounding 96 percent; I am a hardcore shopaholic. The 4 percent loss was this one question on whether I was in debt and thankfully, I wasn't and am not and hopefully never will be. The rest of the questions? Full marks. And not on a positive note either.

"Are you going to go to a shopaholic anonymous meeting from now on?" Steve asked mockingly.

I showed him the middle finger.

"It says here that the first thing you need to do is to de-clutter your life and your purchases. Give it away, sell it, whatever. But start on a clean slate. And you must have a person close to you to walk you through the whole process. Okay let us start tomorrow. We will start with your wardrobe!"Star excitedly said.

"Why my wardrobe? There is nothing in there that I want to throw," I smiled nervously.

"Harry you have over 200 t-shirts alone," Melanie said.

"Well I am sorry if I keep my weight in check and I can still wear all of my clothes bought years ago," I shook my head.

"Oh my god..." Steve trailed off.

"What?!" I shouted, fully irritated now.

"You are a shopaholic AND a hoarder just like your mother!" Steve said softly (dramatically).

"I resent that last statement," I raised my finger at Steve.

"Boy do you need help," Star held my shoulders, shaking her head, face grim.

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