Saturday, April 6, 2013

Double Trouble O

I don't know what possessed me to say yes to Star's suggestion to go partying at Dbl O, but i said yes and as usual, regretted it soon after.

For the uninitiated, Dbl O, over the last few years have evolved into a hotspot for Matreps and Minahreps. For the uninitiated, Matreps and Minahreps is the local slang used to describe Malay youngsters (Matreps for boys, Minahreps for girls) with a distinct set of characteristics (usually hilariously negative). It would take an entire blog post to describe to non-Singaporeans what these beautiful set of creatures are.

I promise a blog post for that one.

So about a week ago, Star, Melanie, Steve and myself (upon Star's insistence) went to Dbl O to party the night away. Star said she wanted a "change of scenery" and like every good friend, I conceded and all the four of us made our way there after having dinner at Clark Quay.

I mean, I know that there were going to be quite a number of Malay youngsters present there but I had no idea it was going to be that many in the queue outside the club's entrance.

"I feel like there is an MP somewhere giving out grocery hampers inside the club!" Melanie joked.

The cab driver (who is a Malay damn it!) glared at us from the rear view mirror. Awkward silence. Once inside, we were ushered to a table right at the ned of the room, beside the washroom.

"Before you all ask me why I booked a table by the washroom, let me tell you that this is going to be one of the more sensible life choices I have made in my life. See I am not going to risk making a fool out of myself in front of the entire Malay community by vomiting right in the middle of the dancefloor because I couldn't make it to the washroom fast enough. And yes, I do foresee that I am going to vomit tonight because I heard that the drinks here are dirt cheap!" Star rattled on.

"How cheap?" Steve asked.

"$3 for a shot of Tequila," Star replied.

"No fucking way," Melanie shouted.

It was really $3 for a shot of Tequila. I had like eight shots and by one thirty, I was too intoxicated to even attempt to dance. So Steve and I just sat at our table laughing at everybody and what they wore while the girls danced it away on the dancefloor. Apparently it was Hip Hop and RnB night.

I was too high to even notice.

"Harry, I think that girl is looking at you," Steve suddenly shouted in my ear.

I wanted to tell him that I am intoxicated and not deaf but I just looked at the direction where his fingers were pointing.

There WAS a girl (a minahrep to be exact) looking directly at me, dancing away, grinding a random man. Her tongue was seductively licking her lips and she was doing these funny hand gestures.

"Is she showing me some gang signs cause if she is I am feeling very uncomfortable right now," I said, looking away.

Just then Melanie and Star came back to the table, all sweaty.

"Oh my god a really cute Malay dude just gave me his number and said he LOVED transexuals. How coincidentally progressive!" Melanie squealed.

"I think there is a Minahrep showing gang signs to Harry and he is feeling rather uncomfortable with it and honestly I do find this place a little weird. Almost all the Malay girls here have got the same eyebrows or is it just the cheap Tequila shots that is giving me that impression?" Steve said, obviously more drunk than I am.

"Oh my god I thought it's just me! They do have the same eyebrows, all of them! Anyways there is this Malay dude who also asked for my number! He's like only 19 and he is a firefighter!" Star excitedly shared.

"They are all firefighters. And he is a kid Star, don't be disgusting," I rolled my eyes.

"Well apparently he is old enough to put his tongue in my mouth!" Star replied.

"Okay. It IS the cheap tequila shots," I said, slouching back at my seat and just staring at the dark ceiling. At the corner of my eyes, the girl was still staring at me.

Weird place.

P/S: Thank you Nur Failzal Saari for the tip off. Follow him on Twitter @nurfaizalsaari


  1. Love your English! Not many people have/use it in Singapore ~

  2. A tequila that cheap? in dbl o? okay.