It has been said that the unofficial national pastime for Singaporeans after eating is ghost hunting.
Yes ghost hunting.
As if our lives in this republic is not terrifying enough and our oppressors, sorry I meant government, are not monsters in human form, we put it upon ourselves to go and seek for everything supernatural. This is on top of the fact that our Asian culture as it is, is filled with ghouls, spirits and ghosts in every aspect of our lives.
Honestly I was getting sick and tired of our usual routine of home made dinner and then a movie afterwards with the usual suspects. So three days ago I suggested that all the four of us should go on an adventure by driving to the cemetery and seeing what happens.
"People go for river rafting, bungee jumping, skydiving for an adventure. Not get stuck in a car in the middle of a cemetery just inviting ghosts!" Melanie said.
"Mel, you're a transexual. You are our weapon against the supernatural, they fear the dual gender species!" Star replied, suddenly getting excited.
"Steve?" I asked.
"I'm up for it, sure. It beats having to watch Confessions Of A Shopaholic for the seventh time," he smiled.
"Noooo..." Melanie groaned.
Three minutes later, all four of us were in Steve's Audi and making our way to Chua Chu Kang cemetery. During the journey, Melanie was asking 1001 questions to dissuade us from going for our "adventure".
"What if Steve fainted? I can't drive!" she started.
"Harry and I can," Star replied.
"What if the car cannot start?" Melanie asked again.
"Steve can call his driver to come pick us up," I reassured her.
"Do you have any religious hymns? We are going to a Muslim cemetery. But this is Steve's car, and he's Catholic. So that makes this a Catholic car. Do you think Muslim spirits will only attack Catholic cars?" she rambled on.
"This is an Audi. And why are you so jumpy? Relax, it's just driving around the cemetery for an hour or so and then we would head back home. It's not like...OH MY GOD MELANIE WHAT IS THAT BESIDE YOU?!" Steve suddenly screamed.
Melanie screamed her guts out, masculine voice and all.
The three of us laughed so hard, the inside of the car partially became deafening for a good five seconds.
"It's not funny!" Melanie shouted, hitting Steve's head from the back.
The greatest laugh was when we reached the cemetery itself. It was anything but creepy or scary. For a start, the entire place was generously lit that we didn't even need to switch on our night lights or high beam. And this being Singapore, there was quite a number of random people squatting in front of tombstones asking for 4D numbers.
"See it's not that scary, The dead remains dead, it is the living that we need to be terrified of," Steve said.
"Since when did you become philosophical? It doesn't suit you," Melanie groaned.
Once we reached back at Steve's place, I told them all to take a shower.
"Why?" Melanie asked.
"Cause you might never know who or what followed you home. And cause it's hygienic," Star rolled her eyes.
"Bitch," Melanie uttered under breath, rather audibly.