They say god divides. If he makes you all pretty and gorgeous, he makes you stupid. I think that's just a sick joke on the Almighty's part but I definitely suffer from that unfunny division.
See, I'm a social butterfly. I would like to think that if you were to put me in a room full of strangers, two minutes into it is all I'm going to take before I make friends with everyone in that very room.
Melanie says that I'm the biggest social butterfly that she has ever known and that Mariah Carey wouldn't think twice about putting me on her charm bracelet.
But the biggest joke of it all is that even though I am one of the most friendly dude around, I am as bad when it comes to remembering names. And that my dear readers, it is the worst combination, ever. I would be so busy making new friends and forgetting their poor names the very next day.
Fact of the matter is, I remember faces, not names.
There have been many occasions where I would sit, all by myself in a cafe, or just walking around Orchard Road and someone would approach me with an affirmative, "Hey Harry! Nice bumping into you! Remember me?"
This would be followed by a short look of confusion, a feeble fake smile and a resounding, "Of course!"
Look I know it's bad enough that my memory fails me all the damn time but I spent almost a quarter of my life training to be an actor so if I can fake the hell out of it, why not?
Yesterday however, was an exception.
I was accompanying Star on her lunch break and halfway, a random dude came over to my table and said, "Hey Harry! Remember me?!"
"Heyyy...Of course I remember you..." my voice trailed off, hoping that it wouldn't betray my fear because honestly, I have no fucking clue what his name was.
"I'll get back to you, let me go grab a cup of coffee," the dude said.
"Sure! Sure! Please do!" I said, sounding slightly excited.
He left the table.
"Who is he?" I asked Star.
"Am I walking database?" Star said, eating her salad.
"Fuck...I know he was my army mate but what's his name? Star help!" I pleaded.
"You should listen to yourself speak right now. It's hilarious. I went to the army with you is it?!" Star mockingly chided me.
"Let's get out of here. I can't remember his name," I urgently said.
"I'm not done with my salad, don't be an asshole," Star stared at me.
Nameless army mate is walking towards me and all I could think of was how screwed I am.
"How have you been?" he asked earnestly.
"I've been good, yourself?" I asked back out of courtesy. Deep inside I actually didn't give a shit.
"Yeah, I'm getting married next month," he smiled.
Star raised her eyebrows.
"Oh. That's nice!" I said, faking my way through the ordeal.
"You don't remember my name do you?" he suddenly asked.
"I do, I just...I forgot your name," I said, ashamed.
"Harry, we share the same name, how can you possibly forget that?"
Star choked on her Caesar salad and I well, let's not even go there.