20 Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex

1) You actually would thoroughly enjoy the swallowing part.

2) It doesn't judge your penis length.

3) If you fall asleep halfway while eating, it's still going to be there for you.

4) Nobody is going to judge you if you go fruity, dark or with huge nuts.

5) It's readily available...when you're ready.

6) It's always protected by a foil so you know it's going to be safe.

7) You fork our money for it and 10 out of 10 times you enjoy every bit of it and it makes you happy.

8) Hard or soft, it doesn't matter. It's still going to be good.

9) You can share it with friends and family.

10) It doesn't speak to you while you're halfway eating it.

11) You can eat chocolate in religious places and God watches over you safely.

12) You don't have to compliment it first before eating it.

13) Three at a time and no one is going to bat an eyelid.

14) No baggage involved afterwards.

15) With chocolates, "bite sized" is actually a good thing.

16) You can talk about your chocolate eating sessions openly with just about anybody without them thinking of your moral decay.

17) You can break it into two if you feel like it.

18) Nobody is going to judge you if you're done eating in under 5 minutes.

19) You can have it filled with liquor and it wouldn't make a fool out of itself.

20) You can eat your chocolates in front of your parents. Share with them even.