A Screaming Star

I categorize my horror movies in two camps. The "scream fest" camp and the "spook fest" camp. There are horror movies that make you sit at the edge of your seat, eyes partially closed and then a horrific scream entails, and then there are those that are not that scream worthy but make your hair stand on its end and you think about it (and let's face it, imagine) on the way back.

I am a huge movie buff (Bollywood mostly, don't judge) and horror movies will always remain as one of the most favourite genres. The first horror movie that I remembered watching as a child was The Exorcist. That movie would become one of my favourite movies of all time.

I was eight and my uncle, who was vacationing from the States brought home the uncensored version of The Exorcist. My mum couldn't care less about shocking the living daylights out of a child or trauma of a child whatsoever, so there I was, at eight years old watching Linda Blair use a crucifix to masturbate, going down a flight of stairs facing up, and projectile vomit amongst many others. Of course I was terrified at that point of time but it also fascinated me and I would secretly watch the VCR again and again until I wasn't afraid anymore.

So it is to no one's surprise that I became a fan of horror movies and am always seeking new movies to scare and creep the hell out of me. As much as I love "scream fest" type of horror, I much prefer the creepy ones; the ones that make your imagination go into an overdrive and you get scared shitless...out of nothing. Malay, Japanese, English, Thai (personal favourite), anything.

Star on the other hand hates horror movies. She says that she would rather listen to Justin Beiber on loop for the whole day than sit through two hours of a horror movie. You would think that the dark setting of the cinema adds to the spook but no, even watching it at home on DVD is more than enough to scare the crap out of her.

So yesterday, I decided to let her watch this Thai horror movie called Laddaland with me on DVD and wrote down every single spoken expression that comes out of Star's mouth.

Here is a list of the rubbish that was recorded. And I am sure some of you peaches can relate and may have uttered the following pearls of fuckery wisdom too while watching a horror movie.

1) Fuck.

2) Oh my god I can't do this. I can't.

3) Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...FUCK!

4) Why am I watching this?!

5) Harry, shit did you just saw that? That motherfucker was just behind her.

6) Jesus on a fucking cross!!

7) Oh shit...shit.

8) Why is it always dark, I don't like this.

9) No! No...no, no, no, nooooo...

10) If it was me in that house I would just kill myself and be a ghost myself.

11) Something's coming right. The music is making my heart jump I don't like it.

12) Aaaaaah!!! See! I told you!

13) How many times must that raggedy ass go inside the house?! She is just asking for it.

14) Harry my heart is beating so hard my tits are vibrating.

15) Why the fuck are you laughing you sick fuck! Harry!

16) I need a glass of water or I am going to combust into flames.

17) Oh my god at least there's sunlight.

18) Okay fuck here we go again, hold my hand.

19) It's behind you! BEHIND!

20) My head is spinning from all this screaming, fuck you Harry.