Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Chocolate Bearing Roy(ce)

There is no greater validation in a girl's existence much like a compliment of the physical kind. A simple "You look pretty today" is the greatest stamp of success for a girl; all those hours and money spent to make themselves look beautiful has finally, finally paid off.

In fact there is an urban legend that the words "You look pretty today" can soothe even a pre menstruating girl.

Hah, kidding. I'm just fucking with you. There is nothing you can do to soothe a pre menstruating bitch in heat. We all know that.

Where was I? Yes, validation and compliments. See the reason I'm writing this post because there seems to be a shift in balance in Melanie's life. We all know the adage, "Too much of anything is not good, even the good things." So what happens when you get too much of validation and compliments? What if that adoration from someone turns into an obsession? And the person receiving it is at a constant state of worry, panic and fear?

That's right peaches. Melanie, my dear tranny Melanie, has a stalker. Legit. And it's a butch who frequents her salon, one of her regular customers actually.

"I am terrified guys," Melanie shared yesterday during dinner.

"Why? Isn't it awesome to have a stalker? I think it's cute. I've never had anybody stalk me before, even when I asked them to," Star said, flipping her hair.

"I wouldn't say that if I were you," Steve laughed.

"So I've been cutting her...his hair for the past two years and she...he always brings me chocolates and stuff and I knew this butch likes me but I never once talked about it with her. But lately things are getting a tad, if not very, very creepy. Two weeks ago I received this from my colleague," Melanie explained, taking out a folded A3 sized card from her bag.

Steve took the card, opened it and went,  "No fucking way in lesbian hell, oh my fucking god."

Inside the card is a collage of over twenty pictures of Melanie. but that's not the creepy part. those pictures were printed from Melanie's Facebook account. That means the stalker actually stalked Melanie's profile and printed all of the pictures from there. On the card it read, "To the most beautiful girl in the world."

"That's what happens when you don't make your profile private," I said, scanning the card. It smelled of lemon citrus and vanilla.

"Aww, I think that's adorable!" Star exclaimed, taking the card away from me.

Melanie pinched Star's left arm and Star scowled loudly.

"For the past two weeks, every single day after work you can find her...him waiting for me outside with a small gift in hand. Ferrero Rocher chocolates, Garrett's Popcorn, Famous Amos cookies, anything. When I asked her, her name is Roy by the way, how come she has the time to wait for me everyday she says she rushes from work everyday just to meet me. I know right?" Melanie said, a worried look on her face.

"Roy. That's so masculine than I can ever be in my entire life and I'm straight acting," Steve laughed.

"It's not funny! I already warned my colleagues to NOT give this Roy my email and god forbid, home address! She has my namecard from work and unfortunately my mobile is printed on that and she wouldn't stop texting me. Like twenty messages in a day," Melanie exhaled tiredly.

"That's freaky," I said.

"What does Roy want form you anyways?" Star asked.

"She says she wants to get to know me better. Date me out. But I don't wish to. At. All," Melanie answered.

"So why don't you? I would give it a chance if I were you," Star pursed her lips.

"I am a man to woman transexual and you want me to date a butch who in actual fact is a man trapped in a woman's body. What kind of sick fucked up gender dysphoria shit you think I am into?" Melanie replied angrily.

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