Saturday, February 23, 2013


Friendship is a funny thing. It makes you do things that goes beyond your character. It's like a full time relationship, without the sex. Most of you would know that Steve is spending the entire of 2013 going through his Bucket's List. So far he had gone bungee-jumping, stayed in a village in Colombia (don't ask) for one week, sat through the entire Twilight series, river rafted in Brazil, drove all the way from Singapore to Penang and back and recently ate crickets in Bangkok.

Oh and let's not forget the embarrassing massage incident that I went through with him. Why would a ticklish guy like Steve want to subject himself to a full body massage is totally beyond me.

Three days ago he approached me again to accompany him in his quest to carry out one of the things on his Bucket's List.

"So what terrifying adventure are you going to subject yourself to now? After the Colombia trip, I don't think there is anything else that could top it," I said over coffee when he asked me for the favour.

"I want to take the train from Joo Koon to Pasir Ris. One end of Singapore to the other. And I want you there with me," he smiled.

"What the hell?!" I asked, shocked.

Steve? Taking public transportation? We are talking about a boy who have been chauffeured to and fro from home to every destination possible, all his life, in a swanky Mercedes no less. Who doesn't own an ez-link card because he would have no use of it whatsoever. He doesn't even know where to tap the ez-link, let alone know of the horror of being stuck like sardines in a packed train during peak hours.

"That's not true. I have taken a train at least twice in my life," Steve reasoned.

"You were six years old at that point of time and the other time you were drunk and you got lost at Marina Bay Station and called me to pick you up. At six thirty in the morning. Remember that glorious day?" I shook my head.

"It can't be that bad," Steve said.

"I don't think you can last half an hour in the train," I replied.

"Is that a challenge? I can be middle class if I want to you know," Steve rolled his eyes.

"Only rich people would say that. Fine, 6pm, Joo Koon MRT station. You keep a notebook with you and every single time something interesting happens, you write it down along with the station where it took place. I'll read it and see whether you're middle class or not," I said.

That MRT ride was yesterday and he was busy scribbling down notes the entire time. This was what he wrote:

Joo Koon: Is it just me or s the air-conditioning not working? Fuck, the train hasn't even moved and I'm complaining.

Jurong East: Okay seriously where did all of these people come from. There is like twenty thousand people night here in the cabin with me right now. And hell no am I going to give up my seat. Uh huh.

Commonwealth: What the fuck is this smell?! Who didn't bathe today?! I am going to pass out any moment. Someone ate a rat's carcass yesterday, that much I know.

Tiong Bahru: This is not funny I really cannot breathe I am not even aware of what I'm scribbling right now. I don't even know where the BO is coming from.

Raffles City: I don't know what's the dress code for office wear in this country. The rubbish that people wear to work, oh god. Hideous office wear convention nearby maybe?

Bugis: Okay seriously. Where. Is. All. These. People. Coming. From? I'm this close to having a panic attack. So many people in one pathetic cabin?

Paya Lebar: I am reduced to eavesdropping people's conversations. The lady beside me is arguing with her husband and she is asking for a divorce. What fucked up world do we live in where wives asks for divorce over the phone?

Tanah Merah: This is more frustrating than being in a traffic jam. At least there's no 20,000 people stuck in the car with you.

Simei: One more stop. And there is a lady breastfeeding her baby right in front of me. I can't. I just..I can't.

Pasir Ris: I'm so hailing a cab from here. Fuck Harry.

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