Tuesday, February 5, 2013

KL Dangerous

So last weekend, Steve, Star, Melanie and me decided to go for a short getaway to Kuala Lumpur. In a matter of minutes, I managed to book a three room apartment and coach tickets so off we went for an impromptu mini holiday and it was possibly the best three days in 2013 so far.

This post is titled KL Dangerous because that was how we lived like for that short three days. it all started when we started drinking the first night in our apartment before heading out to party. I gobbled on a chicken Ramly Burger (which happens to be the most fucking delicious roadside burger you will ever find in this world) in three minutes before washing it down with a bottle of apple cider. This was followed by four shots of Jaegermeister.

I don't know what happened to me but I suddenly got drunk, in like ten minutes. All I could remember was Star laughing at me and Steve repeatedly saying to me, "You're so red and so drunk."

I remembered laughing a lot and trying not to pass out like a wuss and spoil any plans.

So I sat down and started humming quietly until sobered up a little. Who was I kidding right? By this time all four of us have gotten really tipsy and we decided to take a cab to this happening gay club that Melanie have been raving about all afternoon.

We were waiting for our cabs when a child, not older than ten approached us with flowers for sale; RM12 per stalk. At 12 midnight.

"Oh my god are you homeless?" I remembered asking the boy in Malay.

"Harry, stop it that's rude! Of course he is homeless!" Star said. Yes, we were THAT tipsy.

"I don't want your flowers. Take this and go, you're breaking my heart!" I cried, handing him RM10.

The boy took the money and left.

"I think I am going to cry," I said, voice breaking.

My heart suddenly became really heavy and tears welled up in my eyes.

"No fucking way! You're actually crying!" Steve cackled.

"Funny to you," I sobbed, wiping the tears off my face, trying hard to breathe and recompose myself in my drunken stupor.

"Who are you people?" Melanie shook her head.

Fifteen minutes later, the four of us were in a club and had a table reserved for us because we opened two Chivas bottles and tipped the staff very, very handsomely. I believed that we gave him RM200 just to get us a table.

That's what happens when Singaporeans party in Malaysia.

The gay club was amazing. The ambience was great, the music, fantastic. Music in straight clubs make you dance, but music in gay clubs make you DANCE. And boy did we dance. The four of us were on the podium drinking Chivas and tequila shots in between and just busting out moves we never knew we had in us. Star and Melanie were totally groping every random gay dude and Steve was shuffling in the corner...yes shuffling.

An hour into it and our dance was interrupted by a drag queen show and we all squealed in delight. There was this draq queen by the name of Naomi Hayden (don't ask) and she came out in a sari and danced to Chikni Chameli and I literally screamed in excitement.

She saw me and walked towards me and all I could remember saying was, "Shit!"

She took my hand and the entire club went wild and then she brought me up on stage to dance with her. All I could remember doing was that I just giggled like a girl. She thrusted her hips in my groin and then she did the most unimaginable thing ever: she hugged and kissed me on my lips. Yes, you read that right. I was kissed by a drag queen in front of 200 frenzied drunks. I could hear Star screaming, "Oh my fucking god!" repeatedly from our table.

The best part of the night was when Star fell down outside of the club and a lady staff helped her up and she screamed, "Who the fuck are you?! Oh thanks!"

You know, cause we're classy like that.

No comments:

Post a Comment