Technologically Crippled

Harold got a new Samsung Galaxy Note 2 for free. No he didn't win any lucky draw or anything of that sort. It was given to him by my mother, the new phone was my mother's. Here was what went down:

For the longest time, my mum had pestered me to get her a new phone, "the one where I can touch and swipe the screen". So I said to her last week that since her Starhub phone contract have expired, she can go and renew it and also get the latest iPhone 5.

"I don't want the iPhone 5! My friend says it's not good!" she exclaimed when I suggested the idea to her.

"Which friend? You're lying to me," I said.

"My friend Robert. He works at the handphone shop at the interchange," she replied, dignified.

"Since when are you friends with the boy at the handphone shop?" I asked.

"That's besides the point! He recommended me the Samsung Galaxy Note 2 instead," she replied.

"He obviously is a bad handphone seller. And you obviously didn't tell him that you are technologically crippled did you?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I am much better now than before," she said, proud.

"Just last week you asked me to help type for you "Youtube" correctly on the internet, remember? I said www.youtube.com and you typed wwwdotyoutubedotcom instead? And you want to use a Samsung Galaxy Note 2 is that it? Just get the iPhone 5, it's idiot proof," I explained.

"Are you calling me, your mother, an idiot?" she mockingly cried.

"Do you really want to go there? Do you?" I asked condescendingly.

"I don't like that condescending tone. Everybody is using an iPhone, I want to be different!" my mum explained.

"So says the woman who goes to the same butcher every weekend where everybody else goes to because she claims that if everybody is buying it, the meat must be good," I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going to buy for me the Samsung Galaxy Note 2 or not?!" she raised her voice.

"Fine. God you sound like a fourteen year old girl," I shook my head.

So the next day, off we went to renew her phone contract and to get a new phone for her, the Samsung Galaxy Note 2. We were sitting down at the counter when the Starhub staff took out the phone from its box and handed it over to my mum, "Ma,am would you like to check the phone first?"

"You check it for me," my mum whispered to me.

"Why should I? You're the one who is going to use the phone and its yours, you check it," I whispered back.

"Ma'am?" the staff asked again, handing over the phone.

My mum took the phone and pretended to know what she's doing. She gave the phone back to the staff in less than five seconds.

"You're done checking ma'am? You don't want to test the sensitivity of the touch screen?" the staff advised. His name was Joseph.

"The phone is a touch screen? Oh. Yes. Of course it is!" my mum laughed uncomfortably.

In my head I did an imaginary face palm. That was last week.

Two days ago, when I was walking outside my brother's room, I saw him swiping away on the same phone.

"Harold, when did you buy the Note 2?" I asked.

"I didn't. Someone gave it to me," he said, eyes still on the phone.

"Did mum gave it to you?" I folded my arms.

"How do you know? She exchanged the phone with my iPhone 4S. She said she would throw the phone because everything is confusing to her," he said.

Just then my mum came out of her room.

"I hope you will reconsider your decision to still be friends with Robert," I said to her and walked back into my room.

"See? I told you he would be bitchy about it," I heard my mum whispered from my back.